Weird Excuses Melissa Carone Has to Dismiss the Presidential Election

I don’t think I can improve on this, but I will try.

“I’d say that poll book is off by a billion million kajilion, or whatever Trump lost this election by.”

Yesterday Melissa Carone who is — according to multiple people I asked to confirm — definitely not Helena Bonham Carter in a Halloween wig after a spectacularly rough hen do rehearsing a bit for an SNL guest appearance, gave *checks notes* “testimony.” I’m told, and I say this with several different species and varieties of caution, that she is or at one point was working IT for Dominion. So I can see why people might think, at least on paper, that she would be a good witness if — in actual fact — any manipulation of the election had occurred.

But as it turns out, she is every bit as crazy as her hair.

Apparently she delivered “testimony,” after another “witness,” alleged voter fraud because evidently one of the poll workers appeared unsuitably Asian to her. Her chief concern seems to be that she was expected to take a shuttle to the vote counting site. Quelle horreur.

I can’t really tell but it seems based on Ryan J. Reilly’s tweets on the subjects that she appeared as original where she claimed that shuttles are big bad and then had a command performance where she then additionally claimed that ballots were being rerun multiple times and also dead people were…