Trump Can’t Actually Steal the Election and Here’s Why

He will try, but if you vote, he will almost definitely fail

Ariadne Schulz

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One shouldn’t be putting makeup on an ape, but at least this time it’s even.

If last night’s debate were a train being conducted by Chris Wallace then Trump pulled him off of the controls, beat him bloody, and proceeded to derail the train at high speeds. I know that was a bit of a ways to go for the train-wreck metaphor, but I also feel that we witnessed Chris Wallace being psychologically tortured for an hour and a half.

There was not a lot of substance to take from this debate. In 2016 I described the first debate especially as a pretty good speech intermittently interrupted with fart sounds. Hillary Clinton knew Trump was going to interrupt her when he shouldn’t be and so she just ignored the hell out of him and kept on talking. It was an effective strategy. She dominated.

Biden did pull himself together in this debate, and if we got any actual information or policy talk from either of the candidates we got it from him. But — perhaps because of his stutter or perhaps because men just aren’t used to being rudely interrupted all of the time — he did not perform as well as Hillary Clinton.

There’s some talk among newscasters and pundits that the interruption tactic was strategic because Biden has a stutter. I very much doubt that’s true. One must remember throughout all of this that regardless of his contestations to the contrary Trump is not at all “smart,” — and yes Trump, I do want to talk, “smart,” — and never really has been. Trump just isn’t tactical. He lacks the brain function to have and execute a strategy. He was interrupting for the same reason a wasp stings. It’s just his nature.

When we’re talking about Trump’s plan to steal the election we’re more accurately talking about William Barr and Mitch McConnell’s plan. Trump is told things and he goes with the last thing he hears. He doesn’t plan and he doesn’t have a grasp of either the system or other humans enough to create or follow a plan. And this is why he tipped his hand last night.

The plan, as it were, has roughly five steps to it: suppress voting and lower confidence in the election, stop voting tallies swiftly after polls close on election day, litigate losses, encourage unrest and violence, and refuse to…

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Ariadne Schulz

Doctor of Palaeopathology, rage-prone optimist, stealth berserker, opera enthusiast, and insatiable consumer of academic journals.