The Vice Presidential Debate from a Fly’s Perspective

I’m the Fly on Pence’s hair and I have thoughts.

A number of pundits have come out and tried to attribute my presence at the debates as some signal from the almighty, perhaps an indication of the presumed smell generated by the hypocrisy emanating from Vice President Michael Pence, or my own position in alignment with AntiFa. As such I’d like to take this opportunity to set the record straight.

BuzzBuzz

Excuse me. One occasionally has difficulties with human communication.

It is true that Pence’s general aura and odour were that of the thickest and deepest bovine faeces and it was a testament to my own personal strength of will not to give in to my more base instincts. However, I felt it appropriate as Mr. Pence seems to have a similar issue with females of your species. There was some level of comradery — at least from my perspective — in that the two of us are gross, a bit annoying, and largely unable to control ourselves to the point that we crave supervision under such circumstances wherein temptation may arise.

However, I should like to advise, I am not AntiFa. For one, it sounds uncomfortably close to “Anti-Fly,” and we simply can’t have that and for another … well, I shudder to include this as it is still deeply traumatic for me but here is a video of my twentieth great grandfather being ever so cruelly dispatched by your former President of these United States Barack Obama.

Additionally, I am concerned that you humans are neglecting the very important state of human-fly relations. In particular, as an emissary of flies nation wide we are most concerned about this Green New Deal so frequently mentioned by Trump and Pence. According to them, if the Green New Deal or any like environmental legislation of which there are many diverse bills but which are being overshadowed by this one that cannot even make it out of committee, there will be no more cows.