I had a public facing position for several years where I wasn't expected to be dressed SUPER nice but I had to be presentable. So I wore heels. I made sure they were close toed, and I'm quite good at walking in heels; I can even navigate cobblestones in them. But a few months into the job they changed the dress code to specifically say that my favourite pair of conservative heels were too high and too thin to be worn at work. And yes, I did tower over my colleagues and they were technically stilettos but I typically paired them with loose fitting trousers and relatively high necked blouses.

I wasn't strictly angry because they hadn't tried to slut-shame me over it but they could have simply said, "look, for our purposes could you maybe wear ballerina flats?"

Depending on the job my appearance has been either an asset or an issue. As a researcher or curator I've been encouraged to wear just about whatever as long as it's well put together but my front of house and public facing jobs I've been asked in various ways to tone down my appearance. I'm cute, but I'm not THAT cute.

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