Hotdogs are Sandwiches

If You Disagree, you are a Degenerate

Photo by Ion Şipilov on Unsplash

There are people in this world who will tell you the gloriousness that is a Chicago style hot-dog is not a sandwich, but just a hotdog. These are the same people who will tell you the toilet roll goes over, that it’s pronounced “aluMINium,” and that lemons are just yellow limes. These people are what is WRONG WITH AMERICA.

You may think this is just a little issue. This is not a little issue, my friends. This is a slippery slope. This is a slide towards a precipice of lawlessness which threatens to undermine the very basis of what we put our mustard on.

I don’t know about you but I am a red-blooded, American, hotdog lover and I will STAND UP for the integrity of relish.

And if you wish to challenge me, if you are so foolish as to believe your opinion and anecdotal evidence can hold a candle to my facts and statistics then you are WRONG. I have CHARTS.

Fig. 1: The Sandwich Alignment Chart (matttomic, 2017)

In Fig. 1 we have the data aligned on two axes those being ingredients and structure. A hotdog falls directly in the centre of all sandwich definitions. Is not an ice cream sandwich a sandwich? Of course it is. Would you not…