Donald Trump is Ready for His Close Up

Poor Mr. DeMille has been a horrified stone statue since about January 20, 2017

Actually, Cecil DeMille is one of the Grateful Dead at this point. Not the band. He’s just not alive and if human retain consciousness after … anyways yeah I sourced this photo by searching for “Bad pictures of Donald Trump” and the results were overwhelming. (Photo found here: https://www.rte.ie/culture/2020/0213/1114821-you-know-things-are-bad-when-donald-trump-is-thanking-the-wind/)

Some days I have to dig deep for content and other days it is just delivered straight into my inbox. I give you, the Trump campaign fundraising email.

This is what I get for not having a robust spam filter.

So, you’ll note there is an “unsubscribe,” option up there, but this is the same email list that sends me his hilariously unhinged “polls.” So I refuse. I actually sent his campaign an email saying that if they paid me $100,000,000 I’d consider us even. If they actually do (lols) I’ll use that unsubscribe option, but I’ll also use my newfound wealth to bring him and all his cronies down.

But this stuff is truly great and we’ve got to go through it. I’m not really clear how I got on this list, but it is comedy gold. And guys. Guys. THIS IS NOT SATIRE. This is his actual campaign fundraising email. I screenshot only the top half but the bottom half lets you donate money.

But for fun — and yes, I’m an academic and therefore my definition of “fun” is likely very different from yours — let us deconstruct this delicious madness.