Curated Images of the Trumps acting the fool

Or: 9 Times I used my Skills in Microsoft Office For Evil Rather than Good.

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People think I’m gonna be nice ’cause I’m cute and stuff.

So, I’m not really expecting to get a result this evening, but since this is a lot like waiting for blood test results except concerning the entire country and whether or not we’re going to be the Fourth g*dd*mn Reich I also rather expect (read: plan) to be entirely inebriated for the day. I also expect that most of you will have similar plans. I therefore decided to do something reasonably simple but also amusing that you can sort of look to for stress relief as we all collectively experience eclampsia as one nation under God, indivisible with liberty and justice for [page not loading].

What follows is a few images I grabbed mostly from Medium of me making fun of the Trumps or the Trump administration in one way or another. There are nine. I’ll do little vignettes on them but they shan’t be long and you need only gaze at them in mystified wonder for my artistic skillz.

1. Jared Kushner and the Poorly Drawn Hitler moustache

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I couldn’t help myself (twitter)

This one’s fairly self-explanatory. I think he was trying to say that Black people … don’t work hard enough to succeed … and aside from that statement in and of itself being horrible, racist, and clearly wrong … I dunno, he just kinda looked like Hitler.

2. Jared Kushner wants you to eat brioche

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From “Jarvanka is BIG MAD.”

As it turns out, Marie Antoinette did not say “let them eat cake,” and likely did not say anything like it. But Jared falls well short of the sensitivities held by the youngest and least accomplished daughter of the arguably most influential ruler in European History. But he does fill out a dress quite nicely.

3. Ivanka has PLANS for those beans.

I kinda feel bad for what I’ve done to poor Sally here, but has anyone noticed that Ivanka bears an uncanny (no pun intended) resemblance to her? I think it’s all the stitching.

4. Had Pence Not Interrupted the Fly he might have Done Better

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From “The Vice Presidential Debate from a Fly’s Perspective.”

Kamala whooped him so hard the flies started descending on his carcass DURING THE WHOOPING. But honestly, I kinda wanted that fly to have a back story.

5. *Unmitigated Screaming*

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From “Hi, has anyone ruined your schadenfreude today?

I’m not really responsible for this. Sometimes history doesn’t so much rhyme as use the exact same word. But I will say it’s slightly concerning that in a looks and dress contest Stephen Miller STILL manages to lose to Joseph Goebbels.

6. 多数決でも決まらない!

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From “Video of Trump You’ll want to have on Loop until noon on January, 20th.”

I REFUSE TO EXPLAIN ANY OF THIS.

7. I just needed a tweet from him and fell immediately down a “rabbit” hole.

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From “Reclaiming my Progressivism

So, actually this one wasn’t modified at all really. This is just what his twitter looks like in dark mode. I’m not sure, and I have no evidence to back this up really, but I think he MIGHT be the actual devil. I dunno.

8. DT wants a breakfast of Crime, Crime, Crime with Crime, Eggs, Crime and Crime, garnished with Crime.

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From “I Think Donald Trump May Have Fundamentally Misunderstood the Terms of Our Arrangement …

There’s a joke in here about him not actually having any money at all, but honestly I’m doing it just so we can all have the mental image of him being removed from the White House by his ear lobe.

9. There are few people whom I really love, and still fewer of whom I think well.

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From “More Weird Emails from the Clown in the Oval.”

Have some pity for my nerves, Mr. Bennet. But I also have to wonder how a guy like Trump who destroyed the fortune his father built managed to get three wives one right after the last. One suspects Mrs. Bennet might have been incorrect.

Doctor of Palaeopathology, rage-prone optimist, stealth berserker, opera enthusiast, and insatiable consumer of academic journals.

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