Bernie Sanders’ Revolution or “how I got those pesky women and people of color to shut up about their rights.”

Pictured: a revolution with more diversity than Sanders’. (This is from the West End production of Les Miserables. My boyfriend treated me a few years ago, and it was awesome as long as you can get over the idea of French revolutionaries singing their feels.)

Bernie Sanders’ “Revolution,” is an ideology put in place to keep women and people of color down under the false banner of progressivism.

Normally when I dare to talk about Bernie Sanders I’m riffing off an article or a statistic or a vote. I’m not going to do that today. I’m going to talk about his [bowel] movement. I’m doing this because really, this is the core of the problem with Bernie.

And yeah, we can talk about his rape essays, or his vote against the Amber alert, his vote against the Magnitsky Act, his vote to fund the F-35 program, his support of big sugar, his failing health, his various instances of support for the gun lobby, his abstention from a vote sanctioning Russia, his unwillingness to explain his Medicare for All plan, that time he wanted to primary Obama, his really hypocritical approach to campaign funding, or the fact that he plays so fast and loose with his campaign funds that the FEC has had to send him multiple letters including one that was about 600 pages long.

That’s just a top hits medley I put together. Not even really “top hits,” actually. If I’m being honest I wouldn’t know where to begin on how to rank Sanders’ failings in public service. Would the time he used the n-word in…