An Open Letter to the Various Men Who Shout at Me

Calm down, sweetie.

Photo by Ryan Franco on Unsplash

Dear Angry Man,

Did you accomplish what you set out to do? Was it worth it? What exactly were you trying to do in the first place? Was destroying any relationship we had your goal because from my perspective that’s all and everything you managed.

Maybe you’re a close relative or maybe you’re just some random jerk on the street but when your face got all twitchy and enraged and you tried to do that remarkably stupid hulk mad thing men do when they’re trying to scare people they think are physically weaker than them, I stopped respecting you. At that moment in my eyes you were reduced to an animal. And not even a cool animal. You could have been a cat. I like cats. Instead you chose mangey rabid coyote.

Grrr. I’m mad. Actually, I take it back. Coyotes are way cooler than angry men. (Photo by Levi Saunders on Unsplash)

I’m still puzzled as to why exactly you chose to yell at me rather than actually confront your problems in a meaningful way. It’s rather difficult to understand you when you raise your voice and get that sort of red tinge to your face that makes me wonder if I can pop you like a balloon, but perhaps if you tried to articulate your issues. From what I understand my involvement in…