A review of the latest Mortal Kombat movie.

Mortal Kombat 2021 movie poster ()

Spoiler Warning for Mortal Kombat 2021, but guys, seriously. Seriously.

I knew I needed this in my life since I saw the trailer in which Sub-Zero stabs a dude with a blood icicle.

And this isn’t the first time I saw a Mortal Kombat trailer and was like, “This is a movie that speaks with love to all the stupidest parts of my psyche.” Back in 1998, for reasons, I was in Hungary and … well … Nem beszélek magyarul. So, I didn’t have a lot to say to my cousins. Anyways, the trailer for Mortal Kombat: Annihilation came on…


Meanwhile, in the land of the Conspiratorial …

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Some people inject hardcore drugs, others throw themselves out of planes, but I like to read the latest crazy from the Q conspiracists. And I do regret calling them “crazy,” because crazy implies they can and should be helped. I don’t know that I believe the Q conspiracists deserve anything but prison sentences since January 6th. But, here we are.

There’s a bit of a smorgasbord to choose from here. Or maybe one of those hashtag goals charcuterie boards one sees on pinterest. Do you want cured meat? Do you want olives? Maybe a cube of cheese. Take your pick…


Let me tell you what I think of everyone else on that rush hour train

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I currently live in London and have done so since just before Brexit. I wore a safety pin on my jacket when attacks on non-white Londoners rose in the wake of Brexit. I did this not because as an American I was at risk, but because as a white person I wasn’t. London was not the worst part of Britain for racist and xenophobic attacks, but it is a city, and it takes all kinds. So, while I didn’t expect trouble, I didn’t not expect it.

One day coming home from work on a very crowded train I was standing…


Unless you think women aren’t people

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Trigger Warning for discussions of abortion and terminal disease.

Additional Note: There are men who have periods and who can get pregnant. I am using she/her pronouns and the term “woman,” here for facility, but there are trans men and non-binary individuals who can and sometimes do get pregnant or menstruate, and they also need to have access to gynaecological and reproductive care in a safe and gender affirming environment. The LGBTQ+ are especially vulnerable when reproductive healthcare is attacked.

I’m really struggling with this because it’s deeply personal. And also deeply insulting. And if I’m honest, I don’t know…


Sometimes You Don’t Need to Calm Down

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According to Freud, depression is just anger turned inward. And if internet memes are to be believed according to “the Buddha,” which may or may not be referencing Siddhartha Gautama according to the meme maker, “Anger is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die.”

They’re not wrong. But they’re not right either. Anger has a purpose. Sometimes that purpose can be distorted or manipulated and certainly too much of anything is bad, but if you’re never angry then something is likely very wrong. Anger is like any other emotion. You are not always happy or sad or nostalgic…


Because we’re not all talking about the same thing

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Just in general, I think we need to define a few terms and have a little conversation about what I’m going to call cultural colonialism. Well, maybe not define terms because all of this is based on individual perspective, but I feel like I need to be totally clear on what it is we’re actually talking about.

We’re not dealing with anything new. “Cancel Culture” itself is not new, and the conservative reaction to it is also … not new. All of this has existed for some time. This is just another iteration of the same themes.

The problem underlying…


And other important questions

If you know me, you probably know that I spend far too much time playing Elder Scrolls Online. Sometimes I spend far too much time playing Assassin’s Creed and other times I spend far too much time playing The Sims. And don’t get me wrong, there are major issues with Assassin’s Creed and definitely The Sims.

For instance, I estimate Ezio Auditore’s weight and height at around 190 to 200 lbs and around 6 feet. He’s a hefty dude. And he’s usually clad head to toe in armour and carrying at least one battle axe (at least the way I…


A meditation on lonely card games and stoic philosophy

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Did you know that some 80% of solitaire games are winnable? I certainly didn’t. But evidently that is factual. Go ahead. Look it up. I’ll be here. Possibly playing solitaire. But the issue is that if you play solitaire as its rules demand, and if you are human, you are not necessarily going to make only logical choices, and even if you do make consistently logical choices, there is sufficient chance in solitaire that a winnable game may be lost.

Some of this gets into the genius of the now standard card deck — or really any card deck if…


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And voter suppression is degenerative joint disease

If you’ve ever had the chance to examine a human vertebral column up close and personal you’ve probably been stunned by its architectural stability, its flexibility, its facility in protecting the spinal cord, and its sheer aesthetic beauty. In most humans — although it is fairly common to have extra vertebrae, or a “caudal shift”— the is made up of seven cervical vertebrae, twelve thoracic, five lumbar, and the five fused vertebrae of the sacrum. The vertebrae increase in size from top to bottom, and the column curves to better support the weight of the torso and transfer…


Especially not this one

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1. Millennials Like Listicles

Do you want to be a millennial? WELL, DO YOU?? I’m a millennial and I rue the day. Which day you ask? EVERY DAY. Here I am wearing my skinny jeans with a side part eating avocado toast out of my rented apartment and trying to engage in adulting while being lazy and thinking only of Disney while I write a listicle for you. DO YOU WANT TO BE LIKE ME?? No, you don’t. You want to be a boomer or a zoomer. But, hey, at least none of us are Gen X, right? Pfffftt.

2. Listicles Are Not Informative

Did you come here for…

Ariadne Schulz

Doctor of Palaeopathology, rage-prone optimist, stealth berserker, opera enthusiast, and insatiable consumer of academic journals.

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