And no, there’s no link there.

Photo by Braňo on Unsplash

Every now and then, when I’m feeling nostalgic for 2016, I get into an internet argument with someone who will — before the argument is over and without any evidence for it — call me some variation on “stupid,” “ignorant,” “uneducated,” or “dumb.” I mean … it’s fine. We’re fine…


And other aspirational poetry

Error: heartbeat not found. Republican.exe has stopped working. (Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash)

I haven’t written here in a long time. Part of it is because I put my money where my mouth is and have been volunteering and working in whatever capacity I can to make the world a better place. Yay me. Part of it is because I’m working on another…


Disease, Democracy, and Athens

Photo by Spencer Davis on Unsplash

Today I gave a talk for saveancientstudies.org and Digital Hammurabi on the Plague of Athens. It was a great deal of fun to properly research outside of my actual field. During the talk interest was expressed in anything else I’ve written (yikes) and really the best place to route people…


A review of the latest Mortal Kombat movie.

Mortal Kombat 2021 movie poster (Source)

Spoiler Warning for Mortal Kombat 2021, but guys, seriously. Seriously.

I knew I needed this in my life since I saw the trailer in which Sub-Zero stabs a dude with a blood icicle.

And this isn’t the first time I saw a Mortal Kombat trailer and was like, “This is…


Meanwhile, in the land of the Conspiratorial …

Photo by Dave Lowe on Unsplash

Some people inject hardcore drugs, others throw themselves out of planes, but I like to read the latest crazy from the Q conspiracists. And I do regret calling them “crazy,” because crazy implies they can and should be helped. I don’t know that I believe the Q conspiracists deserve anything…


Let me tell you what I think of everyone else on that rush hour train

Photo by Alexandre Debiève on Unsplash

I currently live in London and have done so since just before Brexit. I wore a safety pin on my jacket when attacks on non-white Londoners rose in the wake of Brexit. I did this not because as an American I was at risk, but because as a white person…


Unless you think women aren’t people

Photo by Denys Nevozhai on Unsplash

Trigger Warning for discussions of abortion and terminal disease.

Additional Note: There are men who have periods and who can get pregnant. I am using she/her pronouns and the term “woman,” here for facility, but there are trans men and non-binary individuals who can and sometimes do get pregnant or…


Sometimes You Don’t Need to Calm Down

Photo by Uriel Soberanes on Unsplash

According to Freud, depression is just anger turned inward. And if internet memes are to be believed according to “the Buddha,” which may or may not be referencing Siddhartha Gautama according to the meme maker, “Anger is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die.”

They’re not wrong. But…


Because we’re not all talking about the same thing

Photo by Isaiah Rustad on Unsplash

Just in general, I think we need to define a few terms and have a little conversation about what I’m going to call cultural colonialism. …


And other important questions

If you know me, you probably know that I spend far too much time playing Elder Scrolls Online. Sometimes I spend far too much time playing Assassin’s Creed and other times I spend far too much time playing The Sims. …

Ariadne Schulz

Doctor of Palaeopathology, rage-prone optimist, stealth berserker, opera enthusiast, and insatiable consumer of academic journals.

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