5 Non-Partisan Reasons to Vote Blue This Election

Protecting the American Way of Life has never been Easier or More Crucial.

ILLUSTRATION CREDIT: Cagle.com

We Americans up until a few years ago enjoyed a lot of privileges in the world. We had a stable democracy, a booming economy, arguably the best university and scientific institutions world-wide, and a passport accepted at just about every border. We could expect maybe not absurd wealth but that our work would be remunerated (except for millennials and younger, but we haven’t time to get into my job history right now), and we could trust our institutions to protect us and for the most part keep us from being targeted. We had freedom of speech, freedom to assemble, freedom of the press, and we could say whatever we wanted not without repercussions, but without government censorship.

America has never been perfect and a lot of the above comes with massive caveats particularly for underserved populations. But we weren’t a country where women at the border were forced to undergo hysterectomies against their will and without their consent. We didn’t — prior to 2017 — try to target whistle blowers whose only crime was calling out corruption and whether or not you’re a “war hawk,” or “peacenik,” we had some respect for our Armed Services.

Well, my countrymen and women, Rome is burning. Are we going to put out the flames or collectively fiddle as it burns?

1. This Could Well be the Last Free and Fair Election America Ever Has.

Let’s say you are a Republican, like Donald Trump, and are planning to vote for him in the upcoming election. That’s your choice. Right now, you can tick that box next to his name send in your vote either by absentee ballot or in person and reasonably expect your vote to be counted. No one will try to poison you, no one’s going to chase you away from the polls or make you take an intelligence test before you vote, and even with everything that’s happened you have the reasonable expectation that you can send your ballot back through the USPS and still have it counted.

But if you do vote for Donald Trump and enough other people also do all of those rights go away. If Donald Trump is elected to a second term be that by his first general election win, another electoral college win, or by manipulation the first thing he and his Attorney General, William Barr will do is dismantle voting rights.

You may presently think that because you’re conservative or voted for Trump or are a registered Republican that this somehow won’t apply to you, but it will. Particularly if you live in a “blue state,” your voting rights will be — one way or another — nullified.

Pompeo has already expressed the [erroneous] belief that Barr can delay elections and Trump has dismantled the USPS with the express motive of making absentee ballots more difficult to deliver. While these efforts are currently targeted at people of color the intent is to disenfranchise all US voters yourself included.

*sigh*

So, if you want to hold on to your right to vote or really any of the rights you enjoy under the US Constitution and Bill of Rights then vote blue.

2. Third Party Voting is a Pointless Exercise in Vanity.

John Bolton right after marketing his book which in large part should have been his testimony to Congress said that he would not vote for Trump and planned instead to vote third party. I’m pretty sure that John Bolton’s moustache is plotting against us all and for that reason I refuse to link anything concerning the man, but let me explain exactly how dumb third party voting really is. Spoiler: it is extremely dumb.

Pictured: the soulless destroyer of worlds.

The conceit of third party voting is that obstinance somehow will make the guy in charge realise he hurt your feelings. Now, in some cases that might actually work. There are some politicians who would take genuine note if third party or write in votes started surging. Let me give you a short list of who those politicians are: Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, Joe Biden, Nancy Pelosi, Diane Feinstein, Tammy Duckworth, and Kamala Harris. You’ll note nary a Republican in that brief list. And note Hillary Clinton didn’t get a chance to address the concerns of third Party voters because although she won the election, she was not seated.

Additionally, when you vote third Party or write in you are casting your vote alongside a mercifully small cohort who in various ranges of seriousness are voting for such totally viable candidates as the fictional Mickey Mouse, the arguably omnipotent Jesus Christ, the deceased Keith Richards, and Harambe the also deceased gorilla. And also Adolf Hitler and really, do you want to be associated with people who would vote for a vegan? (I mean, he was also responsible for the most organized genocides in history from which the term “genocide” sprang, but we’re talking about third party voting in 2020 so I feel like his veganism might be relevant.)

All third party or write-ins accomplish is making the election more contested. If you’re okay with being carted off to a labor camp then by all means, but that is what is actually at stake here.

So if you want to be heard and both exercise and protect your rights, vote blue.

3. Trump Doesn’t Care that You’re Unemployed or Underemployed Even if You Are White, Male and Wearing One of his Dunce Caps.

Listen, I’m not going to try to argue that Trump benefitted from Obama’s economy. You can be certain all day long that the economic strength of the US which is only recently begun to falter is somehow not the work of the man who inherited a recession in 2008. I’m not here to argue that. I’m here for non-partisan reasons so we’re not going to have that discussion right now. It would be relevant for any other set of Republican or Democratic Presidents, but it’s not relevant in 2020.

And the reason it’s not relevant is because Donald Trump only cares about Donald Trump. Even if you support him, even if you are a member of his family he does not care about you. This is a man who tried to use his father’s advancing dementia to not only disinherit his siblings but steal his father’s wealth right out from under him. He used his position as trustee for his niece and nephew — the children of his deceased eldest brother — to ensure they were not only disinherited from their grandfather’s will but also couldn’t really access their own trust money. That is how Donald Trump behaves towards his own family. He would put them on the street and take all their earnings if he could. Do you seriously believe that such a man has any time at all for you?

So yeah, it might be fun to imagine that you’re taking away healthcare and job opportunities form liberal women, “sophisticated urbanites,” and people of color, but don’t celebrate too hard when you see them suffering because the hammer will fall on you as well. If it hasn’t already. The coal jobs will never come back. That era is over. Trump is lying to you. He has no use for you beyond the election and he will discard you. After all, he thinks you’re “disgusting.”

If you want a job, or to be paid fairly for your work, vote blue.

4. The Pandemic Has no End in Sight and Trump Will do Nothing.

People are dying. At the time of writing the official death toll of just Americans is 198,000. And this is likely underreported because Trump is pressuring health administrators to report cause of death as anything but Coronavirus. More Americans have died from Coronavirus than in the Vietnam War. And yet, Trump continues to downplay the death toll, hamper the CDC, and disseminate flagrantly incorrect information.

Just a few days ago Trump publicly excoriated Dr. Robert R. Redfield because the man — relying on science and presumably under oath — told Senators that a vaccine would not be ready for wide distribution until late in 2021 and that masks were still an important means of slowing and stopping transmission of this airborne contagion.

This isn’t really relevant … I just like it.

Now you may think you’re safe and I really have no way of telling if you — dear reader — will ever contract COVID-19. I certainly have no way of telling if it will kill you, maim you, allow you to recover, or not even cause any symptoms. I also don’t know if it will have at your family or anyone you may love or care about or rely upon. But it’s pretty bad and it is having a pretty severe social and economic impact. We’re not quite to Black Plague ravaging all of Europe levels but it’s called a pandemic for a reason. It *could* kill you. And whether or not you’re super healthy and young right now it is in your best interest that Trump or whoever is in charge take this seriously.

Trump however, has other ideas. I can be relatively certain he won’t contract it or die from it because as President he is never more than a few moments away from a doctor’s care and everyone who comes into close contact with him has to be tested. He’s got his; why should he care about you?

A normal President, regardless of Party affiliation, would care that Americans are dying. Even a super cynical President would not have said:

“If you take the blue states out, we’re at a level that I don’t think anybody in the world would be at. We’re really at a very low level. But some of the states, they were blue states and blue-state-managed.”

Seriously, try to imagine Obama or Bush or Clinton or Reagan saying that. They wouldn’t. Nixon maybe would say that but it would be one of those super scandalous things he said when he forgot he was recording himself. Trump said it at a press conference.

The reason Trump got so mad at Dr. Redfield of the CDC is because facts undermine Trump’s election strategy. Trump literally does not care if you live or die as long as you vote for him. That is your worth to him.

If you want to have a reasonable expectation of longevity you must vote blue.

Edit: Okay, so since I wrote this there have been several relevant developments. The number of Americans who have died from COVID-19 is now 212k and rapidly climbing. But also, Trump, in spite of all the precautions taken and all the safety measures in place managed to get himself infected. He is receiving care and treatment well outside of the realms of that available to the average American or even the average American with a salary above $400k a year, so he has the best possible prognosis even ignoring his advanced age and just cartloads of “pre-existing conditions.” He’s also trying to leverage his condition and the care he is receiving to downplay the disease for people who cannot receive that level of care or indeed any care at all and to promote some of the yet experimental treatments that were used on him any and all of which are not necessarily available and could cause adverse effects if not carefully monitored. So that’s fun.

5. Climate Change is Real and Trump REFUSES to Address it.

Four states are currently on fire and a good portion of the South Eastern United States is liable to be shortly underwater. And come winter the rest of the country will freeze. I realize that like masks and vaccines and whether or not children should eat food, climate change has become politicized but it is reality. And be mad, but I’m an archaeologist. The climate is changing and it’s changing at an unprecedented pace due primarily to emissions.

I have a whole joke that methane from the populations of megafauna during the late Pleistocene is what caused the quaternary extinction event, but it’s really an elaborate joke about fatal farts and I’m mostly just taking the piss.

You flatulent MONSTER!

What we’re experiencing currently is manmade climate change and it is unprecedented. We’re rapidly approaching a point where we will no longer be able to intercede and save ourselves. Now, archaeologically speaking the reason humans are able to survive is because we’re smart. (Well, I am. I’m rapidly losing faith in the rest of you, but intelligence happens.) Even if my joke about mammoth farts is more than hot air — hot, smelly, air — mammoths and other megafauna were also dealing with population issues, receding grass lands, carnivores were over-specialized and humans were humaning. Mammoths couldn’t have saved themselves.

We humans though? We can. Provided we stop metaphorically farting.

There are multiple reasons beyond climate change for specifically the fires in California, but climate change is a major contributor to that and it is the primary reason for fires elsewhere, the major hurricanes we face, and the extreme winters seen in the Midwest.

But again, reality is not useful for Trump’s re-election strategy and apparently he hasn’t invested in nuclear or solar power so he’s decided it’s bad. I can sort of appreciate him being mad at wind power, but again, if he could actually lead his way out of a wet paper bag his one golf course in Scotland wouldn’t be the primary motivation behind his energy plan. As I said prior though, the coal jobs aren’t coming back. You have a better chance of losing your home in a hurricane or to a fire than being hired to mine coal.

So if you don’t want to literally die in a fire or see everything you know and love destroyed in a super-storm vote blue.

We’re talking about survival here. Full disclosure: I am falling off the left side of the map levels of Democrat. I am a registered member of the Democratic Party. I have never voted for a Republican and unless we get a Democrat like Trump in my lifetime I never will. So I’ll never argue for a conservative agenda because I just don’t find it rational.

But in this case we’re not talking about a conservative agenda or a liberal agenda or middle of the road or anything like that. We’re talking about you, yes you, surviving the next four years. Trump’s running on the Republican ticket, but are you really letting that guy seriously call himself a Republican? I appreciate that if you are hardcore Republican the idea of voting for Joe Biden probably hurts. I get it. It may not seem like I do but you’ll just have to trust me.

Think of it this way: not only is your country in danger of being destroyed and turned into an autocracy where none of your rights are recognized or respected, but there’s also a fairly good chance you might die, lose someone you love, or become entirely destitute. You might not agree with everything Joe Biden says, does, and proposes but you can be certain he won’t throw you to the wolves as it were. Trump will. And he doesn’t care. He’s got his. So vote for your life, and vote blue.

Doctor of Palaeopathology, rage-prone optimist, stealth berserker, opera enthusiast, and insatiable consumer of academic journals.

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